Meeting A Cyberpal

by Phil McCollum

I wrote before about how communication on the web could be easily misunderstood, often because of the lack of non-verbal signals which are common in real life conversations. There's always the problem too that you don't really know who you're talking to. I've been on discussion boards using a male name, not because I have any intention to deceive anyone but because I get treated differently if they think I'm a bloke. Sometimes it might just suit me better that way.

But some people do have different web personas for whatever reason. I suspect inadequacy in many cases. If you have to tell people you are a six-foot hunk into working out in the gym and driving your sports car, and that's not what you do, it just means to me that you're obviously not happy with the real you. Personally, I wouldn't like that type of flashy person, and those who would like him could never meet Rich Ardhunk anyway as they'd be bound to be disappointed.

Very occasionally you "meet" someone on the web who is worth talking to. They don't make any claims to living in a castle, driving whatever it is that's supposed to impress people these days, nor do they boast about their physique. They seem to be on your wavelength, they make you laugh. The emails start flying back and forth between you and you help each other with your various projects. (Please note that I'm not talking about a dating situation here – that presumably is a different ball game.) If you don't get an email from them for two whole days, you miss them.

Anyway, after a few months of this, it dawns on you that you've never actually met your best pal. Should you take the plunge and meet? In some cases, flying to another continent might make this unrealistic. But I knew that my pal was only a few hours away.

Dave came along too and we had a fantastic weekend with loads of laughs. We don't have much of a social life normally, isolated from friends as we are in London. We were introduced, and accepted, into a whole new social circle. Great! We want to go back as soon as we can – if they can put up with us again.

I know there are dangers involved when meeting people you don't know in this way, and there are safety precautions which must be taken, but sometimes you just have to take a little bit of a chance on things. At least I know who I'm talking to now when the emails fly back and forth. It's just great when things work out.