Irish Letter

Jokes, stories, friendly banter... join in the House of Fun if you're looking for a laugh.

Irish Letter

Postby Squiffy » Thu 09 Sep 2004 15:37

Irishman's Letter to the DHSS after receiving a Leaflet...

Dear Sir,

I have just received the Aids leaflet through my door and would
like to apply straight away for Aids. I have been on the dole for
the past 10 years and have been living on Supplementary Benefit
and every other State aid I could get.

It now seems I will be getting aid for sex. It's a pity this Aids has
come so late, as I already have 15 children, and wondered if you
will be paying back payments?

Your leaflet states that the more sex I have the more chance I have
of getting Aids. My only problems here is persuading the wife, who
is not too keen after 15 kids. Several years ago, I bought some sex
aids, but she showed little interest and they were hardly used.
Would there be any chance of a refund for the 17.28 paid out for
these gadgets?

Anyway I will now explain to her that the Government will be paying
us for all the sex we have, and I'm sure she'll agree that we cannot
let a chance like this slip by. You also state that I can pass on my
Aids, but as you will understand with a wife and 15 kids to feed,
there won't be much left to pass on. If, by any chance, there is a bit
left, though, I will pass it on to my poor old mother-in-law who only
has her pension.

I understand from your leaflet that I can get Aids through a blood
transfusion, and I intend to write to my local hospital straight away
to see when I can have one. Will the Aids I get from the hospital
be deducted from the Aids I get from you? Perhaps you will write
and let me know?

I am a firm believer in getting every Aid I can from the country,
and I'm sure you'll agree that by my past performance, I do qualify
for this one. Could you let me know how much I will get paid each
time, and will it be weekly or monthly payments?

Yours faithfully,
Seamus O'Toole
Squiffy - Laugh for MS - :
Posts: 3610
Joined: Wed 30 Apr 2003 17:07
Location: House of Fun

Postby Kay » Thu 09 Sep 2004 19:19

:roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Not Delia - Foodie blog with lots of reviews and recipes.
User avatar
Site Admin
Posts: 15338
Joined: Wed 22 Jan 2003 13:06
Location: Kent for a couple of years

Return to House of Fun

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests